Giving thanks always for all things

^"18Do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery; but be filled with the Spirit, ¹⁹as you sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, singing and making melody to the Lord in your hearts,
²⁰giving thanks to God the Father at all times and for everything in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." Ephesians 5:18-20 (NRSV)

I have wonderful memories of the family Thanksgiving feasts I enjoyed as a child. Our family would go to my grandparents' house and share Thanksgiving with my great-aunt, my uncle and aunt, and their daughters, some years we were lucky to have my aunt and her family from out of state. We always shared our family's standard table grace and then stuffed ourselves with the splendid feast provided by mothers, aunts, and Grandmother.

As a child, I loved Thanksgiving, but took for granted how blessed we truly were. Many years later, the Thanksgiving tradition I had as a child is just a memory of childhood. I married and then had to split Thanksgiving between my family and my husband's family. Grandparents passed away or went into nursing care. My own parents divorced, further fracturing the Thanksgiving tradition of childhood. My sisters have grown up which has meant years apart as they criss-crossed the world to pursue their educations and careers.

This year, I spent my Thanksgiving at work, working an odd 12-hour holiday shift from midnight until noon. I had hoped to attend a community Thanksgiving dinner, but after work my body craved sleep much more than turkey or community fellowship. I volunteered to work the holiday this year as my father and his wife were traveling out of state, and my mother was scheduled to work. I am also recently separated from my husband (and from much of our kitchenware, too). When holiday plans were being made, I didn't even have a kitchen table or chairs in my apartment, so hosting it was not possible. My teenage daughter had an invitation to join her boyfriend's family. My son spent the holiday with his father, although they had previously had his family's feast with extended family earlier.

I could have been tempted to pity myself this Thanksgiving, for ending up alone and not having a feast to share. I could have whined about working on a holiday, especially an extra long shift with weird hours and very boring.

But, this year, I truly had a Blessed Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving meant so much more to me, even without the rituals and traditions I normally have practiced. For me, every day is a day of thanksgiving. I have been reborn, I have been redeemed from sin and from the snares of death, and given a new life.

This year, alone for hours at work, I contemplated thanksgiving, spending time in deep prayer, and singing songs of praise to God.

My Thanksgiving:
My God, My Holy Father,
I praise your name above all.
In humility I bow before you with gratitude for the wondrous and amazing blessings which I have received this year, blessings for which I feel undeserving.
Your prodigal daughter is overflowing with gratitude for the guidance of the Holy Spirit for drawing me to a community of fellowship who have shared your love and acceptance with me and are living examples to me of discipleship and faithful stewardship.
Heavenly Father,
I am thankful to have experienced a new baptism,
knowing this desire for baptism was a mature decision as an adult,
a symbol of my spiritual growth and regeneration.
I am thankful for the gift of the Holy Spirit, my comforter and guide.
I am thankful for the forgiveness of my sins, redeemed by your son, Jesus Christ.
I am thankful for the Word, your holy scripture which has given me life.

When my soul went through its darkest night,
when my heart fainted and breathing ceased.
I was in the Valley of Death, but not alone.
Your Holy Spirit never left me.
I transcended life for just a few moments,
in which I experienced perfect love and peace,
returning me with absolute assurance that
nothing will ever separate me from your love.
I felt the joy of surrender,
knowing my life is always in your hands,
and I will accept your will for my life.
I will not fear death, nor will I fear life;
but trust in your purpose being unveiled.

Every day deserves thanksgiving.
Every day deserves to be enjoyed.
Every day is a day of grace.
For you are the Maker of all things, and all things you make are good.

Thank you for your Holy Spirit, and thank you for redeeming me.
In the name of Jesus Christ, I pray.

Amen.

Why am I here?

I imagine nearly everyone has at some time pondered the meaning of their existence.

I am currently in a Sunday School class that is reading "The Purpose Driven Life". The link takes you to the official website for the book and the first seven chapters of the book are available online now as samples.

I have really appreciated the opportunity to read and study this book, especially as I have been working through a period of crisis following a stressful job transition (departmental reorganization) after 10 years of a career with the same employer, and marital separation after 7 years of marriage.

For me, having this study begin when it did seemed like a perfect incident of synchronicity. Here I am, middle-aged, facing a shake-up in my marriage and in my career....yet, the words of truth helped ground me again. God's purpose is working itself out, even though it may not be evident to me what it is at this point. God has a design for my life. God has provided for me in the past and will continue to provide for me. The chaos of the world can make me feel like I am treading in quicksand, but I can trust God to lead me to safety.

But in this process, I have to be willing to let go of my own design and plans for my life if they are not working. I have to be open to change. And following God doesn't mean my life will be without suffering or hardship, in fact, I may have to endure hardship for His sake.

The book for me as been a positive source of inspiration and encouragement.

Sparks of light shine through my brokenness....

^{2 Corinthians 4:6-11}

⁶For it is the God who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. ⁷But we have this treasure in clay jars, so that it may be made clear that this extraordinary power belongs to God and does not come from us.

⁸We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; ⁹persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; ¹⁰always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be made visible in our bodies. ¹¹For while we live, we are always being given up to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus may be made visible in our mortal flesh. (NRSV)

I am beginning this blog after a period of crisis in my life. My purpose in writing about my experience in this format is to share the light with those still living in darkness. I have been afflicted, confused, driven to despair, self-destructive and yet I survive. I survive not by my own strength, not by own will, not by own power. I survive purely by the grace of God. I have been through the depths of depression, and have faced death, yet God's hand lifted me out of the mire and set me on firm ground once again. I am living in a state of grace, have been redeemed from death, and given a new life. I experienced a "peace that surpasses all understanding", and the freedom that comes from accepting my life does not belong to me, it belongs to God.

A popular Indian story called "The Cracked Pot" illustrates the concept of how the Master can use us despite our imperfections or cracks. When our lives feel broken, we can feel useless and worthless. We see no way to repair the damage done. But it is in this state of brokenness, we might become humble enough to ask God to fix our brokenness. We may even discover God works through our brokenness and imperfection to use us in ways we never imagined.

We were created in God's image. He desires us to be his Holy Temples. He wants his Light to shine through us. He has formed us, and he wants to continue to form us.
Will we let the world shape who we are or will we submit ourselves to our Maker and trust him to shape us? Will we let God fill us with his light? Will we bear his light in the world?

May God's light shine forth in your life.