The importance of community

This past week has been such a blessed week. I had a joyous Christmas with my family.
I feel my prayers for "more light" have been answered, as a church friend is lending me a sunlamp designed for light therapy. I have also had my medication dosage adjusted, so I have had some improvement in not being as tired.

I have also enjoyed the sense of community by being able to share time together with another sister who is experiencing some of the same life situation as me. Being able to share a dinner together and conversation, and have our children play together was a blessing.

And in a broader sense, I have reached out this week to befriend my neighbors in my apartment building, all thanks to a clogged toilet which leaked into their apartment. With some cultural differences to bridge, I feel we now know each other better and can build a friendship.

I am grateful for the many ways in which God draws us together in community, and shows his love to us through the gestures of neighbors, friends, church family, family, and sometimes strangers.

May God weave you into a community,
May God guide you towards new friends,
May God show his face to you in a stranger.
May you remember in God, you are never alone.
Peace be with you.

The Darkest Night

Since daylight savings time ended on November 4, I have felt the effect of the shorter days. I leave the house shortly after dawn, and when I drive home, it is dusk. My body has craved hibernation for the last month, which has been especially rough. I find myself so tired, that many nights I am in bed at 7:00 p.m. And then, it is torture to try to pull myself out of bed in the morning.

Having lived in Missouri my entire life, and having felt a seasonal component to my cycles of depression, I have often wondered if I would have lived a happier and more productive life had I grown up in Texas? But, I stay here, and battle through my winter misery year after year.

I have learned from experience that the darkness does eventually pass, and the sun returns. Eventually, the urge to sleep constantly disappears and I feel energetic and lively once again.

This winter, I have been faithfully taking my medications, so I have at least not suffered the unbearable depression. But, I still suffer from the physical exhaustion. I saw my family doctor yesterday, as well as my psychiatrist. "How are you doing?" "Well, good for the most part, except I want to sleep 12 hours a day and even if I do I still feel unrested." My family doctor ordered some blood work just to make sure nothing else is going on, and my psych doctor has adjusted my dosages of my medications.

So many people with depression just seem to limp through December. Everyone else is full of holiday cheer and joy, but the SAD sufferers would rather crawl in a cave and hide for a couple of months. But, in this darkness, there is a glimmer of hope. Don't lose hope! Sunnier days are just around the corner. But even brighter than the sun, is the Son who came to be the Christ. His light filled a world of darkness!

When we feel like the darkness will overcome us, turn to the Light. Turn to God and pray for perseverance. God will carry us through the long, dark nights.

May God's light shine brightly in your life!

Positive disintegration: a metamorphosis of the soul

A few months ago, I stumbled across a Polish psychologist Kazimierz Dąbrowski's theory of Positive Disintegration. This theory is that for gifted individuals a period of existential depression may be a stage of moral development which leads to further personal growth and realization, and for some rare individuals, a personality which is characterized by inner peace, strong compassion for humanity, and selfless service. About.com: Gifted Children has a good introduction to this theory.
This theory brings to mind the lives of those who are remembered as saints or martyrs, who have surpassed the dark night of the soul and have shined so brightly in this world that they have illumined the path of peace for many others.

“What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.” - Richard Bach
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More mental health ministry sites

"Hope to Healing" is a well designed website which shares inspirational stories written by people of faith who are overcoming mental illnesses.

Another site which I highly recommend is "NAMI FaithNet". This site is not a ministry site, but an outreach site for faith communities (of all faiths). The NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) is a primary resource for advocating and supporting both the mentally ill and their families.

"Mental Health Ministries"
is a beautifully designed site by Rev. Susan Gregg-Schroeder, a United Methodist minister.

"Precious Bible"

The BibleVisit website is the home of the traveling historical Sauer Bible, the first Bible to be printed in America in the German language, in 1743. As the early Church of the Brethren churches were mostly German immigrants, the Sauer Bible was the Bible in use as worship services were usually held in German. The website gives an interesting history about this Bible and the father and son team who printed it, Christopher Sauer, Sr. and Christopher Sauer, Jr. A 1776 edition of the Bible has been on tour at various Brethren congregations to share its history and to encourage renewal and unity among the Brethren as they remember their heritage.

I found some interesting lyrics to an early Brethren hymn.

1. Precious Bible! What a treasure does the Word of God afford;
All I want for life or pleasure, food and medicine, shield and sword,
Let the world account me poor; having this, I need no more.

Having been through a recent period of trial and tribulation, I rediscovered for myself how precious the Bible is to me. When I was admitted to a hospital ward with only the clothes on my back -- a hospital gown from one hospital and a pair of hospital scrub pants from a second hospital -- and one pair of jeans and a t-shirt in a grocery sack, I felt like I was as close to being without material possessions as I have ever been. I was relieved to find a Bible in my hospital room. Being able to read the Word helped me face a situation that was difficult and frightening at first.

3. When my faith is faint and sickly, or when Satan wounds my mind;
Cordials to revive me quickly, healing medicines here I find;
To the promises I flee, each affords a remedy.

4. In the hour of dark temptation, Satan cannot make me yield;
For the word of consolation is to me a mighty shield;
While the scripture-truths are sure, from his malice I'm secure.

While I am thankful for the help of modern prescription medication, I also find healing in the Word. I thought these last couple of verses were interesting. I liked the particular wording of the third verse which says "when Satan wounds my mind", and responds with how the promises of the Bible are a healing medicine and a remedy.

The modern church doesn't expound so often about Satan as it did in the past, so these verses may seem quaint and antiquated. But, as someone who has suffered from the blackness of depression, I find some strength in being able to see the depression and the thoughts of despair which came from it as being thoughts of illness, falseness, and death. Satan is the father of lies, and if he can get in our minds and make us feel inferior, useless, and hopeless then it is a victory for him. But, my spirit cries out, "Jesus is my victor!" I am weak, but Jesus is my source of strength, and I will take refuge in my faith in God. Meditating on the promises of the Bible refreshes my spirit, and the Word of God is my spiritual sword!

Prayer:
Heavenly Father, let us remember the Biblical heritage of our spiritual ancestors. May our spirits find renewal, healing, strength, and victory in your precious Word. Thank you for the gift of your Son, the Living Word. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Mental Illness Ministry

Today, I would like to offer links to Church of the Brethren resources for Mental Illness Ministry.

Voice Ministry, a ministry of the Association of Brethren Caregivers, is a ministry which seeks to reduce the stigma of mental illness, and to provide worship resources on the topic of “Offering Hope: The Church’s Role with Mental Illness”.

Another Church of the Brethren resource is CoBWebcast where you can find a series of webcasts "Responding to Virginia Tech: Searching for a Deeper Understanding of Mental Illness" which explores mental illness and issues concerning violence, fear, stigma, and treatment.

Prayer:
Heavenly Father,
Your son Jesus reached out to the socially marginalized and the afflicted, and offered them forgiveness and healing. He cast out demons and restored health and life. As we work to continue His mission, let us share the Good News with the social outcast, the bullied, the isolated, the lonely, the afflicted, the disturbed, the depressed, the anxious, the traumatized. In the name of Jesus the Christ, Amen.

Mennomedia Resources

"Fierce Goodbye" is a documentary produced by Mennonite Media with an accompanying website on the topic of a faith-based perspective of suicide.

They have also produced "Shadow Voices" on the topic of helping the mentally ill.

A newer documentary "Finding Hope in Recovery: Families Living with Addiction" is scheduled to air on Hallmark Channel on Sunday, Dec. 30, 7 a.m. ET/PT; 6 a.m. CT.

I am pleased the Mennonite Media has chosen to make documentaries about these difficult issues in order to help those of faith understand the issues of mental illness, addiction, and suicide.

Mental illness is a growing issue in our society. In the past, the church was more likely to stigmatize the mentally ill as morally weak. While stigma and misunderstanding still remain, there also seems to be growing compassion and understanding. Many spiritual writers have acknowledged surviving times of darkness, struggles with depression or addiction. Faith and hope are absolutely essential to helping someone overcome depression, but Christians are also recognizing the need for professional medical care. Proper treatment may require a course of therapy and/or medication, even hospitalization in order to stabilize a person and move them from crisis to stability.

While my faith in God gives me strength to endure, I also accept my current need to continue medication to keep me stabilized. I believe this is a way in which God works his healing through the medical profession in order to help the suffering.

I will rejoice today!

This is the day the LORD has made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it. - Psalms 118:24 (NIV)<

When I came home from the hospital after treatment for depression, some friends of mine from my church prayer group brought a bag of gifts to me to help cheer my spirits. Each day, I was to unwrap one small gift. Each had a tag that had an inspirational thought, and the gifts were a mix of small gifts such as bookmarks and snack food, to larger gifts such as a gift card, a book, and a scented candle. But one of the nicest gifts was a woven tapestry which quoted the above scripture. It hangs prominently in my living room, and it has been a daily reminder to me "to rejoice and be glad in today".

This scripture keeps us focused on the present today. We are not to worry about tomorrow or regret yesterday, but just enjoy the present day.

Too often, we can allow our joy in the present moment to be robbed by reliving the past or fearing the future. Or we allow things such as the weather to put us in a bad mood.

As someone who is a natural "melancholic", being joyful in all circumstances isn't my normal mode of being. But, I am a new creation in Christ, and I am practicing the art of ENJOYING LIFE. Wow!

I remember an elder from my childhood church, who always recited Psalms 118:24 when he served at the table. And he did seem to be the type of man who always wore a smile on his face. He seemed cheerful to serve the Lord whether it was at the communion table, singing in the choir, or in any other way he was called.

I look at the tapestry hanging on my wall every day. And every day, for at least those few moments, I stop and smile and rejoice in the present day. How much brighter the world would be if many of us would just slow down, smile, and go about our daily business in a cheerful manner.

Saturday morning, I had plans to be at my church to serve in a toy distribution project. I woke up to find ice on my steps and windshield. As I stood outside for nearly half an hour scraping ice, I felt tempted to grumble and complain. But the thought about "this is the day that the Lord has made" entered my head. I stopped scraping for a moment, looked up at the sky, and smiled. My heart filled with joy, for thankfulness to be alive, to be well enough to be outside scraping ice off my windshield, for having a decent vehicle to drive, to be able to help with a service project. Then I laughed and said, "God, you could help me just a little bit to get this ice scraped so I can be on time!".

Rejoice! Be glad today! Smile! Be cheerful!

Develop a positive attitude

I admit it....I had the bad habit of thinking negatively. My grandmother (who was a living saint) had the most positive attitude. She never complained. She never said a bad word about anyone. She always tried to frame all she said in positive, affirming language.

She enjoyed Norman Vincent Peale's works. Here is a link for some free positive thinking booklets you can read online or download.

Positive Thinking Books

Updates made today

I have spent some time today working on the page elements of my blog. I have added links to my favorite church, ministry, charity, magazines, and more. Check out what I find interesting, motivating, and enlightening.

Overcoming temptation, part II

16"Are you still so dull?" Jesus asked them.
17"Don't you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body?
18But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean.'
19For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.
20These are what make a man 'unclean'; but eating with unwashed hands does not make him 'unclean.'
Matthew 15:16-20 (NIV)

In my previous post about overcoming temptation, I wrote about my struggles with controlling over-eating, abstaining from cigarette smoking and alcohol abuse. However, if we become too focused about matters such as eating, drinking, and smoking, more important areas of spiritual life can be overlooked. The Pharisees which Jesus encountered were so concerned about following rules obsessively, that they were unable to treat others with compassion.

In the scripture above, Jesus is countering the Jewish ritual concerns about what is "clean" and "unclean" with an admonition to keep the heart pure of evil thoughts, and to control our speech as it reflects the state of our heart.

The temptation to sin grows if we allow ourselves to cultivate sinful thoughts. If we hold pride, lust, envy, jealousy, anger, resentment, revenge in our hearts, then it isn't long before our speech begins to reflect our inner state. Our failure to control our thoughts, and our speech, may then lead to greater sins as our sinful thought transforms from thought, to word, and then to action.

6The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace;
7the sinful mind^[b] is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. 8Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God.
Romans 8:6-8, (NIV)

Romans 8:6-8 teaches more about the importance of controlling our minds in order to be strong against sin, but it goes deeper. In order to keep our minds from being controlled by sin, we must willingly submit control of our mind to God. If we allow the Holy Spirit to reign over our thoughts, we will enjoy life and peace. If we allow ourselves to think sinful thoughts, then we are in rebellion to God, and we will find it harder to resist acting on our sinful impulses and we will hasten our spiritual death.

So, how do we submit our thoughts to God, how do we give control of our thoughts to the Spirit?

• Learn the Word! Memorize important scriptures, thereby filling your mind with His Word. Then in times of weakness, recall those scriptures.
  
• Affirm the Word, and affirm your faith in the word! Affirm that the Holy Spirit is the guardian of your mind.
• Be on guard! We live in a media driven world, the average American is exposed to thousands of messages: advertisements, TV programming, news. It is important to develop media and information literacy and critical thinking. We must be aware of how our media exposure shapes our thoughts and beliefs; especially the effect it has on young children who absorb media messages before they have attained critical thinking skills.
  
• Limit our media consumption, filter our usage. Think about what TV shows we frequently watch, especially while our children are around. For some people, watching the evening news can trigger feelings of depression and hopelessness.
• If you are tempted to think negatively, practice putting away the negative thought and replacing it with a more positive thought. Often people succumb to emotional thinking that is distorted and false, they become blind to seeing other options.
  

You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. James 4:4 (NIV)

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2 (NIV)

⁸Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. ⁹Keep on doing the things that you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, and the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:8-9 (NRSV)

I share these scriptures because the Word truly is Life to me. For so long I fell into a pattern of negative thinking which fueled my depression and anxiety. But when I feel the temptation to think negatively about situations, I am trying to replace the thought with a more positive thought, and the Bible is my source for much affirming thought. I often form these "revised thoughts" as a short prayer.

Example:
Initial thought: My situation is hopeless, it will never improve.
Revised thought: I am tempted to feel hopeless about this situation, but I have faith in God to help carry me through everything.
Prayer: God, I am tempted to feel hopeless about my situation. Help me have courage to make changes which can improve this situation, help me have serenity to accept what I cannot change, grant me strength to endure this challenge, grace under pressure, and wisdom to discern Your Will in this situation. Please guard my heart with your Holy Spirit, help me to resist responding to this situation in a wrong way, and may Your Will be done.

Overcoming temptation

1 Corinthians 10:13 (New International Version) 13No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

In our study of "The Purpose Driven Life" this week we discussed temptation and overcoming temptation. This particular scripture really spoke to me - "...when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out...".

Those words are so powerful. We have to remember this, there is always a way out, and Jesus is the Way.

I have overcome a lot of temptation areas in my life, and it is a tough battle, and it is almost always more of a spiritual battle than a physical battle. Once you realize the spiritual nature and ask God to help you, it becomes so much easier.

I have battled compulsive eating, alcohol abuse, and cigarette smoking. When I tried to battle these issues on my own, I often failed. I would stop drinking or smoking, but then would start overeating. I battled these issues for years! It was my way of dealing with pain, stress, and other bad feelings I didn't know how to handle.

We have to always be on guard, because even when we are trying to make a good change, to resist one temptation, another temptation might become stronger. We justify our over-eating because at least we are not boozing or drugging. Or we justify living on a diet of black coffee and cigarettes to control our compulsive eating problem.

My weight has fluctuated from 125 to 250 pounds during my adult hood. I am currently at a healthy weight again - about 147 pounds. I had lost 110 pounds over a period of about four years, (from 250 down to 140 pounds). And I can thank God for helping me with the weight loss, but I admit smoking was appetite suppressant. I would eat a reasonable amount of food, then stop and light up. Sometimes, I skipped meals and just smoked.

I finally woke up and realized that part of my joy for overcoming overeating was being taken away by becoming hooked on cigarettes, and that smoking cigarettes really was against what I believed in my soul to be right. But it was a very powerful temptation for me as I was married to a smoker, and my parents smoked. But I had lost a grandparent to lung cancer, had concerns for the health of my family that still smoked, and something in me finally clicked....I felt stupid for giving into the temptation to smoke and getting addicted to nicotine.

But when I was willing to give up smoking, I found I needed a toolkit of strategies to kick the habit. I used a nicotine gum to wean my body off of the nicotine, I tried to break patterns of behavior tied to smoking, and one thing I did was visit a church for an evening meeting about environmental issues. The meeting challenged my thinking, and helped reawaken my dormant consciousness. Years ago, I had sought to eat a wholesome, organic, vegetarian diet and to recycle. These ideals had gradually slipped away during my marriage. The people in the church were people willing to challenge themselves to simplify their lifestyles for their own health, and for the earth. I was attracted to the hope they showed that it really is possible to live another way of life. This little church, the Church of the Brethren, became my support group for my desire to make healthy life changes. No one judged me, condemned me, or forced me to change in any way that I was not ready to change. I slipped and fell a couple of times before I truly overcame, but their support helped me find the strength, and their example gave me the hope that it could be done, with God's help.

So, I am not speaking as a person who is a saint and has never fallen into temptation. I am speaking as a person who has been very weak in many areas of my life - but gradually, as I have learned to accept my own powerlessness over temptations, I have turned these over to God. Just a simple prayer, "God, I feel tempted to go smoke a cigarette because I feel really stressed. Please help me resist this temptation." Then later, just, "Jesus, take this temptation away from me."

It works for me. And it can work for you too.