Reserve time for Bible reading and prayer

Celebrate Recovery Steps:
Reserve a time with God for self-examination, Bible reading, and prayer in order to know God and His will for my life and to gain the power to follow His will. (Steps 10 and 11)

Yield myself to God to be used to bring this Good News to others, both by my example and my words. (Step 12)

“Happy are those who are persecuted because they do what God requires.”

I have found that my life is much more manageable when I take time to study the Bible, to read devotionals, and to pray. I like the Celebrate Recovery program as it is not specific to just one addiction, but is open to any addiction, as well as dealing with "hurts, habits, and hang-ups".

I have found many sites which have enriched my Bible study and my prayer and devotional life. As I am desk-bound most of the day, finding resources on the Internet for Bible study, devotion, and prayer helps me make it through my day and stay focused on God.

I wanted to share some of my favorite sites with my readers.

My favorite online NRSV Bible browser is:
oremus Bible Browser

But, I also use BibleGateway.com to find scriptures in other versions.

I have also downloaded E-Sword which is a wonderful Bible study program which is free to download. It is feature rich, and has many resources available for free. There are many versions of the Bible one can install which allows the user to study the Bible as a parallel Bible. Other features include the ability to make a prayer list, make a Bible reading plan, make verse lists for memorization, even a screen saver! Additionally, the user can purchase added resources, making this a wonderful study resource not just for laity, but for seminary students and pastors.

An additional resource I treasure is the Vanderbilt Library Revised Common Lectionary. I think this is by far the best lectionary site available online.

I posted yesterday about the Faith Comes By Hearing ministry. Today I want to add a link to their podcasts. This resource offers audio Bible selections in a daily podcast format, great if you want to sample their audio Bibles. I am especially impressed with the selection "31 Days of Wisdom and Inspiration", which is 31 podcasts of selections from Proverbs and Psalms. I listened to Day 1 today, and look forward to making this a part of my devotional time for the next 30 days.

Hope these resources may enrich your spiritual life as they have mine.

God,
Thank you for the presence of ministries on the Internet which help bring your Word to people all around the world. Bless the work of these ministries.
Amen.

Free audio bible

I'm excited to share information about a free audio Bible ministry.

The ministry is "Faith Comes By Hearing". You can download a free MP3 audio New Testament Bible. While the download was fairly slow, it was worth the wait. My favorite translation of the Bible is the NRSV which I was very pleased was offered as one of the available versions. But, the site also offers the Contemporary English Version, New International Version, Good News, King James, and New King James Version. There is even a Kidz Bible New International Readers Version which has stories from the Old and New Testaments. Additionally, many of the translations are also offered in a dramatic version with sound and music effects.

Having the audio version of the Bible has greatly motivated me with my Bible study. I have already listened to the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, and John, as well as listening to Acts and Romans. I have loaded the entire New Testament onto my MP3 player and my personal computer, so I can listen while doing housework and other things, or listen while I read along in my NRSV Bible. Additionally, my five-year-old son has enjoyed hearing the Bible. I am downloading the Kidz version for him, which uses simpler language for early readers. I think he is going to enjoy listening to it on my MP3 player.

"Faith Comes By Hearing" really is a neat ministry.

Currently, Faith Comes By Hearing offers 380 Audio Scripture recordings in 321 languages reaching more than 4.4 billion people in more than 97 countries.

They even offer a solar-powered proclaimer device so missionaries can take translations of Bibles into the field which is especially important in regions where many people are illiterate and are accustomed to an oral tradition of story-telling.

I hope you will take the time to visit the link to "Faith Comes By Hearing". As someone who is in "recovery"...the Bible is the most important thing in my survival kit.

Matthew 11:15 - Let anyone with ears listen!

Confessing our sins

I need you to know
I'm not through the night
Some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the light
I need you to know
That we'll be okay
Together we can make it through another day - Superchic(k) lyrics "Courage"

I have written and rewritten this post, and left it as a draft for too long. What is my hesitation? My hesitation was being afraid to admit that my depression is not fully conquered.

I want to write posts which encourage those who are depressed or anxious by showing them how Jesus has worked in my life and how I am overcoming my dark side.

But, the last few months have been rough. I have been able to stay fairly stable, but have had a lot of stressful life events....the death of my dearly beloved grandmother, the death of my grandfather, conflicts with my 17-year-old daughter, having my daughter start college (a year early, so wasn't financially prepared), behavior challenges with my son who has now started kindergarten, and the loneliness of marital separation. So...I slipped, started smoking cigarettes and drinking alcohol(in moderation); to deal with the stress. I have also felt myself isolating myself...not sharing my problems with Christian friends, because I felt ashamed of slipping. And I realize I had pulled away from actively praying every day.

I am grateful I now have the insight to examine the hows and whys of my "slip", and grateful for the sense to realize I was in danger of a full relapse. When I start doing things which bring me shame, and for which I feel the urge to hide my actions, then I know I am not living completely in the light, nor is the light completely living in me. I am not fully surrendered to God, I am not fully trusting in the healing of Jesus, I am not fully allowing the Spirit to work within me.

So, this post is me humbling myself before God to say, "Help!" It is me realizing I need to hold myself accountable for my actions and need to find a trusted person that I can share with that will help hold me accountable. So, because I have had this realization I have found a Christian support group in which I can share these struggles. And being part of a small support group again is very helpful.

My experience and long struggle with depression has made me aware of how it sneaks into my life, and I'm slowly but surely sinking deeper into it without realization...and then I'm in too deep. Too often, I've slipped blindly into depression, believing I'm OK, and then realizing I am hanging on by my fingernails from the edge of a cliff over a bottomless abyss. "Depression" isolates it victims....it says, "hide at home, don't go out", it says, "don't tell anyone how you feel because you would only be a burden to them", it says, "don't let people get to know you because you are too screwed up", and "don't get close to people because they won't be able to deal with you and they will only hurt you".

The Truth will set you free....face the truth. It may hurt a bit, and it may not be easy, but when you live in Truth you can overcome the lies of depression, anxiety, or addiction. And the truth is, nobody is righteous, nobody is without sin, so we should not condemn ourselves for being depressed. Everyone has problems. Yes, a lot of people try to keep the skeletons in the closet, keep their problems private and secret. But, when you connect with other imperfect people...and can share the truth with love and compassion, it is healing!

True Christian community should be like a lifeboat...make room on the lifeboat for me! We have to love each other and hang on to each other for dear life, and share our hope and faith that yes, together, we can make it through another day.

Heavenly Father,
I humbly confess I have stumbled along the way,
I confess I got misdirected and strayed from the path you have set before me,
I don't want to stumble in the dark any longer,
I surrender my life back into your care,
I trust you will light the path before me if only I will choose to follow it,
And I trust that you will lead me into fellowship with sincere, compassionate Christians who will help support and encourage me, and keep me accountable.
I pray this in the name of your son, Jesus.
Thank you, Father, Thank you, Jesus.

Amen.

Who I Am Makes A Difference

I was sent the following link for an inspirational movie. "Who you are and what you do does make a difference." Watch movie

We each have our own self-perception, but we often don't realize how others see us, or how God sees us.

Many people suffer from feelings of low self-esteem, inadequacy, failure, shame, and find it hard to believe in their value. They may feel they are a disappointment to their family or employer, or feel they have little of value to share with others. They may feel there is no purpose or meaning in their life.

I share on this blog because I feel compelled to share the good news. In Christ, there is peace, compassion, love, forgiveness, healing, hope, and joy. Jesus shared the good news of his Father's love and mercy, and the glory of His kingdom....if you want to know the way, follow Jesus...follow his beautiful feet which shared the good news, follow his example of compassion, mercy, and love.

Father,
Sometimes I feel such shame for my mistakes, and feel unforgivable,
thank you for sending your Son, who died for my sins, so I could find redemption.
Sometimes I feel I have lost my way,
thank you for sending your Son to show the Way.
Sometimes I feel confused and have false beliefs about myself or others,
thank you for the gift of Your Word, which is the Truth.
Sometimes I feel my life is fainting, my strength is waning,
thank you for the Bread of Life, which sustains me.
Sometimes all I see are shadows of doom, and I fear the darkness,
thank you for Jesus, the Light of the World.
Sometimes I feel dead inside...
thank you for the promise of Resurrection and Life.
Sometimes I feel worn out, my burdens are dragging me down,
thank you for lifting the burdens, for giving my soul rest.
Sometimes I question if I matter, if what I do counts for anything,
thank you for designing me with a purpose of your own.

I surrender my aimlessness,
I surrender my false self-concept and my wrong thinking,
I surrender my own self-expectations,
I surrender my burdens, my worries, my doubts.

Father, thank you for your grace and mercy, please lift my burdens and renew my spirit.

AMEN

Avoiding back-sliding

I am not perfect, and find there are situations in which I feel tempted to slide back into old patterns of behavior which are not supportive of the "new life" in Christ which I have claimed. Yes, sometimes, my old self tries to assert itself, to have its old needs filled. And I can do a pretty good job of fooling myself that something I want is a good thing...and next thing I know, I am veering off into dangerous territory letting my own ego at the reins instead of submitting to God's will.

Fortunately, I am doing better at recognizing when I'm heading towards trouble. When my inner sense of peace is disrupted, or when I find myself not making time for prayer and devotion time, I realize...it is time to say, "Whoa!"

I find my inner peace when I let God guide my paths, with the Lord at the reins, I will not stumble or fall. I am no longer a prisoner to my old sinful patterns of thought or behavior. Because of Jesus, I am free!

Prayer:
O Lord, My Shepherd,
When my ego wants to do things the old way, thank you for giving me a sense of unease and discomfort. Thank you for setting my feet back onto the right path, and for returning your peace and comfort to me. I trust in your guidance and wisdom for my safety and protection.
Amen.